Author: A M Zeus Brown

  • Diving with ASD: Why Scuba Works for My Brain

    Personal Diving • Human Factors • Diver Background

    Diving with ASD: Why Scuba Works for My Brain


    Structure, focus, sensory load, task loading, and the quiet magic of being underwater.


    Before this journal becomes full of dive sites, training notes, kit changes, trip planning
    and the occasional bit of equipment overthinking, it probably needs a bit of background.

    I am an autistic diver.

    That does not mean my experience represents every autistic person, and it definitely does
    not make this a medical guide. This is simply part of my own story: how diving feels to me,
    what helps, what makes it harder, and why being underwater has become one of the places where
    my brain feels most settled.

    On land, my head can be busy. Too much noise, too many moving parts, too many people talking
    at once, too many unfinished loops. Underwater, things narrow. There is breathing. Buoyancy.
    Buddy. Depth. Time. Gas. The next small decision.

    That focus is one of the reasons scuba works for me.

    The calm of structure

    One of the things I like about scuba is that it has structure. There are checks, routines,
    procedures and roles. You do not just wander into the water and hope enthusiasm will carry
    you through. You prepare, plan, check and communicate.

    For me, that structure is calming.

    A good dive has a shape to it. Kit preparation. Buddy check. Briefing. Entry. Descent.
    The dive itself. Ascent. Safety stop. Exit. Debrief. Each part has a purpose. Each part
    gives my brain something clear to hold on to.

    I like knowing what is supposed to happen next. I like understanding the plan. I like knowing
    what my role is and what the priorities are if something changes.

    That does not mean I need every dive to be perfectly predictable. Diving is still diving:
    weather changes, visibility changes, kit can be awkward, currents exist, boats move, people
    forget things. But if the basic structure is there, I can adapt much better.

    Why underwater can feel easier than above water

    This might sound strange to someone who does not dive, but underwater can feel less chaotic
    than the surface.

    The noise changes. Conversations stop. Social pressure reduces. There are fewer facial
    expressions to decode, fewer side conversations to track, fewer sudden interruptions.
    Communication becomes simpler: hand signals, eye contact, positioning, light signals,
    and agreed plans.

    There is also a physical side to it. The pressure of the water can feel grounding. The rhythm
    of breathing through a regulator can become steady and repetitive. The world narrows into
    movement, depth, buoyancy, trim, breathing and awareness.

    I am not saying diving is sensory-free. It absolutely is not. But it is a different kind of
    sensory environment. For me, it can be easier to process than a crowded room, a noisy shop,
    or five people talking over each other.

    The sensory side is not always easy

    There are also sensory challenges.

    Hoods can feel restrictive. Dry suit seals can be irritating. Gloves can make everything
    feel clumsy. Cold water adds stress. A leaking mask is not just annoying; it can become a
    constant sensory distraction. A busy boat deck can be a lot. Rushed kitting-up can turn a
    manageable dive into a mentally noisy one before I have even entered the water.

    Sometimes the hardest part of a dive is not the actual diving. It is the faff around the
    edges: loading kit, sorting cylinders, checking weights, listening to instructions, managing
    time pressure, staying warm, and making sure I have not missed some tiny but important thing.

    That is why preparation matters so much to me. If the kit is organised, the plan is clear,
    and I have time to process what is happening, I am much better underwater.

    Learning, briefings and communication

    I learn best when information is clear, structured and not thrown at me all at once.

    A good briefing helps massively. I like knowing the route, the depth, the expected conditions,
    the gas plan, the turn point, the ascent plan, the signals, and what the main risks are.
    I also like knowing what the instructor or buddy expects from me.

    Demonstrations help. One correction at a time helps. Written notes help. Repetition helps.
    Calm instructors help a lot.

    What does not help is vague instruction, rushed changes, too many people talking at once,
    or the classic phrase “just relax” as if relaxation is a button I forgot to press.

    I can handle challenge. I can handle task loading. I can handle being corrected. What I need
    is clarity. Tell me what matters, what order it matters in, and what “good” looks like.

    Task loading and knowing my limits

    Diving has taught me a lot about task loading.

    I can cope with a lot underwater when I understand the task, the plan and the priorities.
    What I have to watch is cumulative load: cold, kit issues, poor visibility, current, boat
    pressure, social pressure, new skills, unfamiliar sites, and too much information arriving
    at once.

    Any one of those things might be fine. Stack enough of them together and the dive can start
    to feel very different.

    That is not weakness. That is human factors.

    Everyone has a limit. The useful thing is learning where your limit is before you are too
    close to it. For me, that means being honest about what adds load, what reduces load, and
    what makes me a safer buddy.

    What helps me dive better

    The things that help me are mostly simple, but they make a big difference.

    • Preparing kit early rather than rushing.
    • Packing things in the same way each time.
    • Using checklists.
    • Having a clear dive plan.
    • Asking questions before the dive rather than guessing underwater.
    • Agreeing signals and roles with my buddy.
    • Reducing unnecessary faff before entry.
    • Giving myself time to process changes.
    • Debriefing honestly afterwards.
    • Writing down what actually happened, not just the flattering version.

    I am also learning that the right buddy or instructor makes a huge difference. Calm,
    clear communication is gold. Someone who can explain, demonstrate, pause, and then let me
    try without turning the whole thing into a performance is worth their weight in lead.

    Autistic traits can be strengths underwater

    Diving does not remove autism from the equation. It brings it with me.

    But some of the things that can be difficult on land can become useful underwater.

    Attention to detail matters in diving. Pattern recognition matters. Procedures matter.
    Honesty about risk matters. Wanting to understand how things work matters. Noticing small
    changes in kit, conditions or behaviour can matter.

    I am not trying to pretend autism is some magical diving superpower. It is more complicated
    than that. But I do think diving gives me a place where some parts of my brain make sense.

    The structure, the focus, the equipment, the planning, the problem-solving, the calmness
    of the underwater environment — all of that fits me in a way that many surface environments
    do not.

    Why this belongs in the journal

    I want this site to be more than a list of dives.

    Dive logs are useful, but the story around the dives matters too. The training matters.
    The mistakes matter. The sensory load matters. The kit choices matter. The human factors
    matter. The reasons behind decisions matter.

    If this journal is going to track my development as a diver, then ASD is part of that
    development. It shapes how I prepare, how I learn, how I communicate, what I find difficult,
    and what helps me become safer and calmer in the water.

    It is not the whole story, but it is part of the background.

    Final thought

    Scuba works for my brain because it gives me structure without removing challenge. It gives
    me focus without boredom. It gives me quiet without emptiness. It gives me a place where
    procedure, awareness and calm repetition are not odd traits; they are useful ones.

    I am still learning. I still get things wrong. I still have dives that feel messy, cold,
    awkward or overloaded. But I also have dives where everything narrows down to breathing,
    buoyancy, buddy and the next small decision.

    And when that happens, my brain feels quieter.

    That is one of the reasons I keep diving.

  • Why I Came Back to Diving After Nearly 30 Years

    Return to diving • Confidence • Training journey

    Why I Came Back to Diving After Nearly 30 Years

    I first tried scuba diving in 1995. It went badly enough that, for years afterwards, even putting my head under water could bring the fear back. This is the story of why I came back to diving, what changed, and how a nightmare became a lifelong hobby.

    Corfu, 1995

    I first tried scuba diving in 1995.

    I was in Corfu, doing Open Water and Advanced Open Water together on the same course. I cannot honestly remember the agency, so I am not going to guess, but I remember the experience clearly enough.

    And it did not go well.

    In fact, “did not go well” is doing quite a lot of heavy lifting there. Knowing what I know now, the course was badly run and badly designed. On day three, on what I think was only my fifth dive, I was taken to around 28 metres.

    That is a lot, very early.

    The Dive That Changed Everything

    At 100 bar I told the instructor about my gas. We stayed at depth until I was down to around 50 bar. I got to the instructor’s octopus, switched to it, and signalled why. He then turned quickly and swam off, pulling the octopus out of my mouth.

    I had to switch back to my own gas, which then ran out before I could reach him or make a safe ascent.

    I got to the surface, swallowed water, passed out, and woke up on the boat being told off.

    So yes, not exactly the charming “welcome to scuba diving” brochure moment.

    The Divemaster, Ben, was kind to me afterwards. He was probably the only reason I tried a couple more dives on that trip. But the damage was done. For a year or two afterwards, even putting my head under water in the bath could trigger panic.

    Scuba had gone from something exciting to something my body treated like a threat.

    A bad instructor helped turn diving into a nightmare. A good instructor helped turn it back into a possibility.

    The Long Gap

    For years, diving was not something I thought I would come back to.

    I did eventually get back into snorkelling, especially in the Red Sea around 2013. That helped. I loved watching reefs and fish from the surface. There was still something about the underwater world that pulled me in.

    But scuba? Proper scuba? Breathing underwater again?

    That still sat in a different box in my head.

    The “absolutely not, thank you very much” box.

    Trying Again in 2024

    In May 2024, as a family, we decided to try diving.

    That first try dive was not perfect. As soon as I jumped in and tried to breathe underwater, some of the old memories came straight back. Not as a nice gentle memory either. More like my brain kicked the door open and shouted, “Remember Corfu?”

    Gemma also started to panic.

    That could easily have been the end of it.

    But our instructor, Wessam Fayez, in Sharm, handled it brilliantly. He settled both of us, got us breathing, got us thinking, and helped all four of us have a great try dive on a local reef.

    That changed everything.

    Gemma, the Catalyst

    Gemma was the catalyst.

    After that try dive, she was in love with diving and wanted to do more. So Gemma, Matthew and I decided to do our Open Water together.

    That mattered. It was not just me trying to prove something to myself. It became something we could share.

    But I would be lying if I said the fear vanished.

    It did not.

    There are still moments, especially when my face first hits the water, where I get that 10 to 30 seconds of fear. That little mammalian alarm response. My brain briefly asks, “Are we sure about this, big lad?”

    Most of the time now, the answer is yes.

    But it is still there sometimes.

    Rebuilding Trust

    The hardest part of coming back was not just the water.

    It was trust.

    Trusting an instructor again after Corfu was hard. Trusting someone with me was one thing. Trusting someone with Gemma and Matthew was another level entirely.

    That is where good instruction made the difference.

    Wessam helped me get back in. Gemma helped pull me forward. The Rescue Diver course helped me calm down and think better. Reading around human factors helped me understand more about what goes wrong, why people make poor decisions, and how teams can manage risk better.

    I like that side of diving.

    I like the thinking.

    I like the planning, the problem-solving, the “what if?” conversations, and the little details that make a dive safer and calmer. Diving scratches the same analytical part of my brain that likes systems, evidence, preparation and debriefing.

    It is not just floating about looking at pretty fish.

    Although, to be fair, floating about looking at pretty fish is also excellent.

    The Moments That Keep Me Going

    I am still not sure I have had one clean moment where I thought, “Yes, I can definitely do this now.”

    It has been more gradual than that.

    There are still times when I ask myself whether I can do it. But since doing Rescue Diver, that voice is quieter. I have more tools now. More understanding. More confidence that I can think through problems rather than just react to them.

    And then there are the good moments.

    Swimming with rays. Seeing sharks. Being on a reef and feeling that ridiculous sense of wonder. Watching marine life and then going home to my own reef tanks, where the same fascination continues in miniature.

    That helps. The reef tanks are relaxing, but they also keep me connected to the underwater world between dives.

    They are basically expensive, salty therapy boxes.

    From Open Water to Master Scuba Diver

    Master Scuba Diver was not originally some grand plan.

    I probably would not have chased it quite the same way if PADI had not been offering it for free at the time. But the specialties I chose were not random badge collecting. They were linked to the kind of diving I am interested in: drysuit, nitrox, deep, night, equipment, wreck, overhead environments, and eventually technical-style progression.

    For me, Master Scuba Diver feels less like an endpoint and more like a marker.

    It is a signal to stop thinking only in terms of basic recreational diving and to start asking bigger questions.

    Do I want to move towards Divemaster?

    Do I want to explore sidemount properly?

    Do I want to move into Tec?

    What kind of diver do I actually want to become?

    Why Divemaster Is on My Mind

    I am looking at Divemaster, but not because I am desperate to teach.

    I have taught before in other parts of my life. Teaching is not some shiny new fantasy for me. I am not currently looking to jump back into formal teaching or become an instructor.

    But Wessam put the idea in my head back in May 2026. He thought it was something I might be ready for.

    That stuck.

    For me, Divemaster is interesting because it could make me a better buddy, a calmer team member, and someone more useful around other divers. I like the idea of developing the awareness, control and responsibility that comes with professional-level training, even if I never turn it into a job.

    Why Tec and Sidemount Appeal

    Technical diving interests me for three main reasons.

    First, I want to see more.

    Second, I want to be safer.

    Third, I am analytical by nature, so the planning side appeals to me. Gas, redundancy, configuration, limits, procedures, decision-making — that all makes sense to my brain.

    Sidemount also appeals for very practical reasons. I have dived with a side-slung pony and it felt good. Getting cylinders off my back could make some shore and coastal entries much nicer, especially in the UK where some of the walks from the car park to the entry point feel like a punishment invented by someone who hates knees.

    Future me may still complain. But future me may complain with better cylinder logistics.

    What I Learned

    If there is one thing I want people to take from this, it is this:

    A good instructor can be the difference between a nightmare and a lifelong hobby.

    My first experience nearly ended diving for me before it had properly begun.

    Coming back took time. It took family. It took the right instructor. It took trust. It took a willingness to feel uncomfortable and try anyway.

    Now diving has become a major part of my life.

    I am still learning. I still have fear sometimes. I still have moments where I question myself. But I also have dives, memories, skills and ambitions that I would never have had if I had let 1995 be the end of the story.

    So this journal starts there.
    With a bad first chapter. And a much better second one.
  • Welcome

    Welcome • Dive journal • Training notes • Kit • Sites

    Welcome to the ZeusTek Dive Journal

    This is my public scuba diving journal: a place to share the journey, the training, the mistakes, the good dives, the kit experiments and the lessons that come from trying to become a calmer, safer and more useful diver.
    Category: Training Notes · Tags: welcome, return to diving, training, dive journal
    Starting point

    What This Site Is

    ZeusTek Dive Journal is where I am collecting my scuba diving journey in one place. It covers dive logs, training notes, equipment progression, dive-site thoughts, trip reflections and the odd bit of kit-nerd waffle.

    I came back to diving properly after a long gap, rebuilt confidence, worked through training, reached Master Scuba Diver and started looking seriously at Divemaster, sidemount and possible technical pathways.

    This site is not meant to be a polished “I know everything” expert blog. It is a learning journal. Sometimes that means celebrating progress. Sometimes it means writing down what went wrong so I can learn from it.

    Why I am sharing it

    The Point of the Journal

    I wanted somewhere to share the journey from the inside: not just the pretty reef moments, but the training decisions, confidence wobbles, equipment changes, mistakes, human factors and little lessons that make diving better.

    If someone else is coming back to diving, nervous about getting in the water, trying to make sense of kit choices, or wondering what the path from recreational diving into Pro or Tec might look like, hopefully parts of this will be useful.

    Also, if I do not write things down, my brain stores them in the same filing system as random regulator model numbers, zombie fiction plots and where I definitely put that one spool. So, yes. A journal was needed.

    The goal is simple: dive better, think clearer, build confidence, and become the kind of buddy people feel safe and relaxed diving with.
    What you will find here

    The Main Sections

    How I write

    Honest Notes, Not Perfect Dives

    I am interested in the useful bits: what worked, what did not, what felt harder than expected, what kit helped, what skill needs practice and what decisions mattered.

    • Training: what each course or workshop actually taught me
    • Sites: what a place is useful for, not just whether it looked pretty
    • Equipment: what works in real use, not just what looks good online
    • Human factors: communication, task loading, awareness and decision-making
    • Progression: how recreational diving may lead into Divemaster, sidemount and technical training
    Public site

    A Quick Note on Privacy

    This is a public site, so I keep live travel details, private family information and sensitive personal details off it. Trip notes are written as reflections after the event, not live location updates.

    I may share public dive locations, dive centres, general areas, lessons learned and useful travel/dive preparation notes. I will not use the site to publish live itineraries or turn family time into public content.

    Comments

    Feedback Is Welcome

    Sensible comments, useful experience, dive-site tips, gear thoughts and constructive disagreement are welcome. I am learning, and good input from other divers is valuable.

    Comments are moderated, because the internet occasionally behaves like an untrained goblin with a keyboard. Useful discussion is welcome. Spam, bots and drive-by nonsense can stay on the surface interval.

    So, welcome.
    This journal is here to track the journey: from coming back to diving, to building confidence, to Master Scuba Diver, and now towards whatever comes next in the Pro and Tec direction.